P!! Tech-matic. Poematic.
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Sunday, January 11, 2009

Have you ever fallen for a friend?
Trying so hard, but the dreams wont end?
No escaping the cruel fate
That you and her would never date
Day in day out it gets stronger
You cant find a reason to tell you she's the wrong girl
Trying very hard to contain your feelings
Keep telling yourself she's just a buddy
While deep inside, feeling it's muddy
Love is a very special word to use
But between it and friendship, which would you choose?
A simple glance turns to a stare
You just want to show that you really care
It's "not right" for you two to be.
Is that why you hide it so no one can see?
But how long will you pretend?
Keep lying that she's just a friend?
Perhaps your feelings you can never show.
Perhaps it's "wrong" for her to know.
Your friendship can't be risked over this,
So being her guy is an impossible wish...

-B.T.-


composed.* 3:44 AM
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Sunday, January 04, 2009

genting trip made me open my eyes to stuff.

person A: "You call yourself a christian when you dont even attend church."
me: "i do attend church."
A: "really meh? i call you on sundays you always at home leh"
me: "how many times you call me on sundays?"
A: "TWO TIMES!"
me: "so you're baseing your facts on two days out of so many others in the year?"
A: "wadever la. some christian you are."

lets make things clear that i do attend new creation church. if you do not follow me 24/7/365, i do suggest you rethink of questioning my faith in God.

person A is a christian too, which makes me all the more disappointed that he can actually say that. well done person A. well done. kudos to you for making me reach a new low.

person B: "you call yourself a christian, ben, why do you not say prayer before eating?"
me: "did you SEE me not giving grace?"
B: "you never wad."

i didn even want to reply at that time. yes i DID say grace. but those of you who know me, my grace is usually real short. just thanking God for the food and asking him to bless it for the nourishment for my body. amen. a short close of eyes, and whisper in my heart, which i think is enough, made some people see me as a fake christian.

person A: "you call yourself a christian but do not act like one. are you really one?"

take note that person A is a sinner, like me, like everyone.

my reply to you is that being a christian does not mean acting like an angel. Being a christian is in believing in Jesus Christ and God the father. Yes, i do have my flaws, but that's all human nature.

i am really feeling very down after those two said these things to me.

and im talking about two people whom ive been friends for over 6 years here.


composed.* 3:43 AM
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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

im sorry if it's in my character to leave it late.
im sorry if sometimes i take things too lightly
im sorry if i over play
im sorry if im a 1 pointer and you're a near 4.

congrats for keeping me uninformed about this till now
congrats for kinda spoiling my day
congrats for likely ending this friendship
congrats for everything else that's not coming to my mind.


we could have talked it out. see how things can work. with everyone happy at the end of the day.


composed.* 10:59 PM
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The Player


His Story

Benjamin Tan
Pei Hwa Primary School
Queenstown Secondary School
Nanyang Polytechnic Food Science class 0701

27/12/1990
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Portal OST - Still Alive - Jonathan Coulton
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